Beautiful Disaster

Beautiful Disaster❴KINDLE❵ ❆ Beautiful Disaster Author Jamie McGuire – The new Abby Abernathy is a good girl She doesn’t drink or swear and she has the appropriate number of cardigans in her wardrobe Abby believes she has enough distance from the darkness of her past b The new Abby Abernathy is a good girl She doesn’t drink or swear and she has the appropriate number of cardigans in her wardrobe Abby believes she has enough distance from the darkness of her past but when she arrives at college with her best friend her path to a new beginning is uickly challenged by Eastern University's Walking One Night Stand Travis Maddox lean cut and covered in tattoos is exactly what Abby needs—and wants—to avoid He spends his nights winning money in a floating fight ring and his days as the ultimate college campus charmer Intrigued by Abby’s resistance to his appeal Travis tricks her into his daily life with a simple bet If he loses he must remain abstinent for a month If Abby loses she must live in Travis’s apartment for the same amount of time Either way Travis has no idea that he has met his match. Warning If you're easily offended by cursing andor aggressivity then don't FUCKING read this I am literally losing it This book contains one of the most disturbing scenes I have ever read in any book EVERSo here's one excerpt from the book Abby slept with Travis and left his apartment in the morning without saying goodbye This is his reaction a few hours later “Travis is a fucking wreck He won’t talk to us he’s trashed the apartment threw the stereo across the room Shep roommate can’t talk any sense into him He took a swing at Shep when he found out we helped you leave Abby It’s scaring me Abby he’s gone fucking nuts I heard him call your name and then he stomped all over the apartment looking for you He barged into Shep’s room demanding to know where you were Then he tried to call you Over and over and over” she sighed “His face was Jesus Abby I’ve never seen him like that He ripped his sheets off the bed and threw them away threw his pillows away shattered his mirror with his fist kicked his door broke it from the hinges It was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life”THIS IS NOT OKAYIt's not okay it's not okay it's not okay it's NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR A few lines later Abby calls him and everything's back to normal NO I'M SORRY BUT NO YOU NEED TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM Stalker A person obsessed with another to the point of insanity IE following one everywhere calling constantly showing signs of irrational sick and unhealthy behavior that can sometimes lead to extreme violence It drives me insane to see how stalkerish behavior is considered as hot This book is really really disturbing and I don't understand how it could get published I got 'til chapter 9 and basically I can't take it any The guy Travis suffers from very very VERY serious problems that should lead him straight into a shrink's office if not prison I'm serious Hey you girls out there who gave that book 5 stars saying you want a Travis in your lives in WHAT language do we have to tell you it's NOT normal behavior And thank God that you haven't met a guy like him because then that would be fucking dramatic Don't you understand how pathetic it is all this characterization into unrealistic hyper sexualized robotic male figures? These stories are all the fucking same The guy is drop dead gorgeous he's dangerous he's sexy he wants you even if you're plain like hell and what he feels for you goes beyond words Edward Cullen Christian Grey Patch Cipriano Kellan Kyle Travis Maddox Damen Auguste or Dimitri Belikov they're all the same Girls NO ONE is going to want to watch you sleep or forbid you to go visit your friends or try to kill you because they love you so fucking much because that's not what NORMAL people do If you ever have the misfortune to get involved with someone like that GO FILE A FUCKING RESTRAINING ORDER already I find it appalling that young girls actually read this thinking this is exactly how they want to be treated like someday We're not pets No fucking one in the world should be allowed to force you into behaving like a child And I'm also thinking about boys they're not exactly the target audience but still; reading this must lead to wonder if this kind of behavior is what chicks like It just spreads some sort of sickening message be aggressive show your jealousy as well as the fact that she's yours have no limits be in control use your strength to make a point don't let her do what she wants because she doesn't really know what's good for her You know better It's so hard to be a teenager to try to find who you truly are fiction that is destined to be read by young people has some kind of role it should set examples instead of showing dysfunctional and extreme codependent relationships like they're normal because they're notHey YOUNG ADULTS That means you're becoming a damn citizen that you'll study get to vote graduate get a job and make a living How could you ever want someone to be that intrusive? To go as far as breaking your car down so you can't visit a friend? yes Edward fucking Cullen I'm talking about you because YOU STARTED ALL THISDon't you realize it's an offense to your FREEDOM when a guy's literally forbidding you to get out of his house even after you've asked him to let you go? When he's dragging you out of the car because you're making out with someone all this when you're not even involved with him? When he's making you feel like shit because you're seeing someone else? In fact I won't even get started on all the stupid reactions of Abby What kind of girl dates a sweet guy and then goes sleeping in another man's bed every night when she HAS a choice ? She's just a stupid lying and masochist teaseThen she encourages Travis to beat the shit out of someone in the middle of the cafeteria? Seriously? Just because someone whistles at her or something she says like Teach him some manners and Travis throws himself on the man Jesus HONESTLY are you a beast or something? The poor guy ends up curled up in fetal position covered in blood and unable to move WTF? How can you stand this? No really how can you read this? How can you accept it? Where is your sense of civility or your instinct of protection towards the human kind? How come no one in the cafeteria stands up and tries to stop this? Easy answer Because everyone is fucking terrified to get hurt Like that's normalIt scares the shit out of me to see that some people are able to read such violence and yet remain flippant and oh so casual like it's no big deal It makes me wonder if they ever witness a real beat up would they react? Would they care? Or has modern entertainment succeeded in making all forms of abuse look so cavalier that it doesn't shock anyone any?Travis kept opening the door when Abby was with her date on the porch late at night or coming in the bathroom when she was taking a shower refusing to get out and generally being so nosy it was a shocking wonder how NO ONE told him to fuck off And that bitch didn't even say ANYTHING It's so genuinely dangerous when a guy's emotionally abusingblackmailing you or yelling at you for not obeying him or trying to manipulate you It is BUT romantic I don't give a damn whether the guy's a vampire or an angel or a fucking rock star or if it was a bet or not it's just NOT okayHow could violence keep being depicted as something acceptable let alone romantic? They're at a party and he hits a boy who TOUCHES her ARM Honestly It's not a game And she keeps forgiving him every single timeHow do you think real abusive relationships start? What do you think are the profiles of the men who end up beating up their wives andor showing extreme paranoiac behavior? Did you just look at that guy? Did you fuck him? Are you cheating on me? Don't you lie to me bitch I can see it in your eyes This is how it ends people You just wait a couple of years Abby Just wait until he loses it AGAIN and ends up taking a fucking swing at youAgain awfully stupid and arrogant Abby stays at Travis's apartment and she sleeps in his bed because she doesn't really have a choice Fine But the guy's bringing chicks in the living room having a big loud threesome And one day later he takes Abby's hand acts all warm and fuzzy saying stuff like You're better than this I'm not fucking you like I fuck the rest of 'em that's why I treat you different don't you ever get near boys or I swear I'll destroy them He even says I'll end up in prison if I hear you slept with someone else When you read something like that your fucking alarm must spark off I don't know what to say any because honestly I feel like I shouldn't even have to say all this in the first place This should be like SURVIVAL INSTINCT What is this message that's conveyed? Should we girls be standing on the corner watching our love interest that pretendedly loves us fuck his brains out with the whole planet and calmly stating I can deal with his behavior because well he's really hot? Or because he's so romantic that he managed to nickname her after the most stupid volatile on earth aka Pidgeon?NO FUCK NO Why would you want to lock yourself up in some scary relationship where in the end you just lose everything; your independence as well as your right to have a life that doesn't exclusively revolves around him? Why would you want to give up your liberty as an individual in order to be so tied up with your love interest that you can't even breathe on your own? And for those who pretendedly realized that it wasn't healthy but yet managed to like the book anyway why would you want to witness such a relationship? What's the pleasure in contemplating two people who never ever realize how deep they've fallen into violence and abuse? EDIT I don't care whether Travis supposedly changes at the end of the book I don't care for his pseudo redemption andor efforts What matters are the facts here and now that Abby acknowledges them while they're horrible and still manages to stay with Travis I couldn't finish the fucking book because I was feeling sick to my stomach and I insist on saying the characterization of the love story was goddamn awful and should never be seen as something okay So do you honestly think I care when you say I should have finished it before writing all this? Give me a fucking break I have witnessed abusive relationships in real life; this book depicts the beginning of one and the memories alone are enough to make me wanna puke I sure as hell won't force myself to undergo the whole 400 pages Besides I read on some reviews that spoilers At some point he won't let her get out of the apartment because he thinks her clothes aren't appropriate enough Therefore he forces her to change Okay May I send you back to the This is not okay behavior part of the review? They get married at Las Vegas at 19 That after him getting an Abby tattoo she gets one too that reads Mrs Maddox I'd like to talk about this for a second I'm a firm believer that you can love someone in an unconditional way without having to show it with material proofs Marriage and tattoos? What is this? Travis unexpectedly got an Abby tattoo without warning her without considering the conseuences of such an act but I guess I'm asking too much from him considering he's got tribal tattoos all over his body Anyway Travis emotionally challenged her and so she got one too Again what is this? A leash that she will never ever be able to free herself from? What if their relationship doesn't last? What if they get a divorce? Basically until the day she dies she will look at her skin and remember that at some point in her life she chose to mark herself not as a person but as a wife As someone's something And that's just terrible So Breathe In my humble opinion I think it is better that I just don't finish it Like everI'm writing all this because I feel so MAD about this book Women fought and still fight every day so we can be treated as euals and not as objects I'm not going to sit still and pretend this book didn't horrify me Because it did It fucking did big timeAlso believe it or not but I'm not doing this to tear the author down I don't really care about her my review isn't about her but about the book It's nothing personal I respect her as a human being I just feel very sorry for the messages she conveys through this everything but Beautiful Disaster EDIT#2 Yeah so About that There seems to be some kind of Reviewers VS Authors movement here on Goodreads but also on Twitter etc Since the author of Beautiful Disaster made me be a part of it I've decided to join here two links The first one is a blog post written by author Hannah Moskowvitz Check it out it's really good Second one written by Nafiza on her blog And I have one thing to say you go girl EDIT#3 One because McGuire just doesn't know how to let it go EDIT#4 Yes I know this is way too long already but I wanted to add something For the trolls who've been telling me for the past fucking year that this is just fiction not only do you come off as stupidly paradoxical for being on Goodreads in the first place because it's a website for people who feel passionate about books but you're also wrong When you read a book for entertainment purposes only you're relaxed and receptive almost vulnerable as unconsciously you assume that what you're reading is okay and right otherwise it wouldn't be published would it? Therefore you don't really pay attention to the real meaning behind what you're reading After all It's just a book right? Wrong Sometimes you have to wake up and realize that what you're reading is in reality a dangerous stinking piece of shit Yes it's a book but young girls read this and unconsciously absorb the messages that are being sent and then it has an impact on the way they carry out their personal lives without even realizing that stupid books like this one contributed to giving her a black eye and pushing her down the stairs Because they've been reading about that hot behavior for so long they've been sexualizing it and they've been associating it with good looks and of course with the ultimate perfect happy ending In reality it doesn't work like that You can't change someone who's damaged and unstable just because you love them no matter what the books try to tell you Don't waste your time trying And the fact that Travis Maddox is described as being extremely hot is a manipulation that tries to trick you into thinking that if it's beautiful then it must be good Think about that a weird ugly guy who follows you around and destroys his apartment because you didn't pick up your phone wouldn't be hot it'd be creepy as fuck And that's what I'm asking you now try to think beyond the good looks and the sugarcoating that goes with it that the medias are trying to feed you and just think by yourself By the way it also leads to fucking idiotic bitches who tweet about how they wouldn't mind being beaten up by Chris Brown because he's so hot What the fuck? There aren't enough words to say how wrong this is What do I care you say? I care because I'm a woman and reading this makes me ashamedWake the fuck up girls and never accept being treated like that You are an individual you are important and you matter Your decisions will have impacts You deserve so much better than someone like this Travis fucking asshole Let him go die in a fucking hole and go lead your own life like the independent and free person you are And please destroy the person who will so much as try to tell you otherwise Finally last but not least Due to some comments it feels like it's time to clarify some stuff If this review pissed you off or offended you you should know that I don't give a shit about well what you think If this is about my swearing or my aggressivity you were warned from the very first line and I don't have anything to say to you about it You knew it was a 1 star rating so basically no one forced you to read but yourself Get over it and move on Simple asAnd I know I mentioned the 5 stars ratings girls and all but really it was just semantics don't feel like you should comment my review to express your disagreement or your undying love for Travis cause whatever you say it won't change the way I feel I mean it don't comment Because I don't give a fuck about what you have to say Unless it is interesting of course But if you’re here to defend the psychopath and try to explain how in the end the relationship comes full circle or why his unacceptable behavior is only masculine and protective please SAVE YOUR TIME And mine Obviously we won't get along and if you can't understand what I'm trying to say then it's fine keep loving Eclipse and Blood Promise and Hush Hush I mean it's cool Honestly I'm serious tastes and perceptions and ideals are all different and I don't have a say in this and neither do you So well you can just save your time with the comments And fuck off already Thank you DELETED AND READDED BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD IT BURIED Beautiful Disaster opens up at night in the basement of an empty academic building on a college campus where a fightingbetting ring known as The Circle is being run This is where we meet Travis 'Mad Dog' Maddox the male romantic lead He of course wins his fight The female lead Abby is attending the fight club for the first time that night She ends up with blood on her cashmere sweater and a new name given to her by Travis who doesn't even bother to ask for her name before arbitrarily deciding on 'Pigeon' It is the way one might rename a dog one has adoptedWe meet Travis again in the cafeteria He is being followed by two voluptuous bottle blondes wearing Sigma Kappa tees One of them sat on Travis' lap the other sat beside him pawing at his shirt Abby's best friend America who also happens to be dating Travis's cousin and roommate makes a snide comment One of the blonde's calls her a skank Travis lets his knees give way sending her tumbling to the floor because America is his friend This little interlude sets up two major reoccurring issues girl on girl hate and Travis treating girls like garbage to step over Every girl in the book except for Abby and America is a skank a bitch or a bitchy skank As for Travis this incident of deliberately humiliating a girl in public and dropping her on the floor like the used condom wrapper she represents to him is actually as close to a gentleman as he ever gets because this is one of the mildest examples of his behaviorAfter lunch Travis and Abby conveniently have a class together although they seemed to have seen each other for the first time at the fight last night Whatever get used to this author making up shit as she goes along and writing inconsistently from start to finish I can give you a list of minor yet annoying continuity issues in the comment section below if askedTravis fixates on Abby and sits beside her leaving disappointed girls by his usual seat He indicates she should take notes for him and spends the rest of the class zoned out Never fear though Travis is a freaking genius He doesn't need notes or studying or attending classes to ace the grades On a similar note he also does not need to eat healthy or exercise to maintain his muscle mass and six pack I'm sorry but every guy I've talked to with a body like Travis's could go on extensively about his diet and workout regime We don't have to worry about believability in this world because despite the lack of traditional fantasy markings nothing about this book remotely resembles reality In this world control and abuse can turn into a happily ever afterWith minimal effort Travis pesters Abby into agreeing to come to his apartment after school with her friend America who is there often to see her own boyfriend Shepley Travis's cousin She agrees and then attempts to dress in the most disgusting way possible My hair was piled on top of my head in a messy bun I had scrubbed the makeup from my face and repalced my contacts with rectangular black rimmed glasses Sporting a ratty t shirt and sweatpants I shuffles along in a pair of flip flops I'll hold on while you get your favorite religious artifact to hold off this monster This description pretty much matches me at the moment on my day off RawrAnyway Travis is not put off by this visual and decides to drag her out to dinner which he gasp never does with the girls he sleeps with Abby's friend America is the least helpful person when it comes to rejecting Travis's unwanted advances I was just heading out for dinner You hungry Pidge? We still have no idea why he's calling her this I already ate I shrugged Dialogue is routinely shrugged and smiled rather than spoken No you haven't America said before realizing her mistake Oherthat's right I forgot you grabbed a pizza? Before we leftI can't even tell you how much trouble my friend would be in if she did that to me Still crappy friend aside no one forces Abby to go with Travis no one forces her to get on the back of her motorcycle She does all of these things despite being extremely uncomfortable around him because Abby is an idiot During dinner Travis opens up to her about his dead mother and they connect a bit So much so that he insists on sitting beside her the next day at lunch by bullying someone else out of an already occupied chair And it is bullying He does not ask for the chair so much as claims it already belongs to him much like Abby and then he stares the guy down until he moves Abby is pleased with the attention and the girls looking at her to see who Travis insisted on sitting besideThe next big plot movement involves broken boilers in America and Abby's dorm room America's solution is that they move in with Shep and Travis until they fix the boilers What the hell? I can't comprehend how moving off campus to be near hot water could possibly be convenient than living on campus and heading to an off campus apartment once a day for a shower Really you're not supposed to be thinking this much but since Abby protests vehemently before capitulating you do get a lot of time to think about what a stupid idea this is I would have preferred a day of skipping a shower or a cold shower to living with someone who made me uncomfortableAbby and America arrive at the apartment just as Travis's latest fling? is getting ready to leave She offers him her number and he declines in front of an audience of two other girls and his roommate letting her know exactly what she means They're not a silent audience either Every time America said She looked at the woman How are you surprised by this? He's Travis fucking Maddox He's famous for this very thing and every time they're surprisedAmerica's boyfriend must comfort her after she delivers this tirade even though the girl she insinuated was at best naive and at worse stupid is still standing there Abby is not pleased with all of this because she didn't realize Shepley's apartment was a revolving door for clueless bimbos I love how other girls in this book are treated It's just fantastic My favorite is Abby calling the girls Travis sleeps with STD infested imbecilesAbby stared at the couch the cushions still askew and bunched up from its recent use I recoiled at the thought of how many women had given themselves away against the fabric Itchy fabric at that Nice right? Nothing about Travis or how he treated them just the awful dirty sexually active girlsAbby decides she can't possibly sleep on the couch so Travis offers her his bed He does not fuck girls in there This speaks volumes about how he views women good enough for his dick not good enough for his sheets I'll kill the suspense here He sleeps with her in his bed but not before he keeps wandering in and out of the bathroom while she's showering He brings her a towel and her toothbrush while she's showering and then ignores her shrieks at him to get out He does not knock before entering the bathroom nor did he announce himself He just opens the door and makes himself at home It's creepy He brings her stuff in which means he went through her bags She shrieks about him going through her stuff and he ignores her not offering an excuse or apology She shrieks at him to get out again and he insists he has to brush her teeth all while she's naked on the other side of the curtain It's all invasive scary and the start of a very alarming and controlling relationshipI wouldn't have finished showering I would have gotten dressed soapy hair and all before heading back to my home Abby who has stood in the shower with her arms wrapped defensively around her chest listening to him brush his teeth gets out of the shower and SMILES at the night moisturizer Travis brought her while violating her privacy and personal space Vomit Vomit VomitDuring Abby and America's long stay with Travis and Shepley seriously the campus couldn't open another dorm building for them to shower in? they all go to a bar together In an attempt to prove they're not sleeping together to the rest of the school Travis and Abby dance together? I don't get the logic there Anyway he licks her throat She is not happy He's mad she's not happy and grinds up on some other girl She flirts with the bartender but Travis puts a swift stop to that Because the guy is a rapist He's been arrested for it and Travis knows all about it Thank God for Travis Thank God for his instructions not to take drinks from anyone but him and his cousin because they treat girls with all the respect in the world and are the most upstanding citizens to take drinks from Vomit Vomit VomitThey are still a foursome when Travis gets called for another fight He asks Abby to go with him America gives her non Abbyish clothes to wear a deep cut yellow halter top and tight low rise jeans Travis takes one look at her and DEMANDS she change Travis's mouth fell open Oh hell no Are you trying to get me killed? You've gotta change PidgeWhat? I asked looking downAmerica grabbed her hips She looks cute Trav leave her aloneTravis took my hands and led me down the hall Get a t shirt on and some sneakers Something comfortableWhat? Why?Because I'll be worried about who's looking at your tits in that shirt instead of Hoffman he said stopping at his doorI thought you said you didn't give a damn what anyone else thought?That's a different scenario Pigeon Travis looked down at my chest and then up at me You can't wear this to a fight so please just please just change he stuttered shoving me into the room and shutting me in Abby gets changedThen she gets on his stupid motorcycle again while he drives dangerously When they get there Travis claims he can go his entire fight without getting hit Abby calls bullshit Travis offers to make a bet He won't sleep with anyone for a month if he gets hit If he doesn't get hit she has to continue living with him in his apartment for a month I don't even have words to express how I felt when this stupid girl took this stupid bet but she does Travis wins She must live with him I think when you take away someone's constant choice to be with you then it becomes skeevyShepley gets angry at Abby for the agreement because she promised not to get involved with Travis Whenever Travis screws around with the best friend of the girl he's dating it ends badly for him Of course he doesn't fight with Travis or demand promises of Travis no he screams at the girl Abby insists there's nothing sexual between them and that there never will be Travis comes out of the shower during all her insisting and gets annoyed As revenge he goes to a bar comes home at two AM with not one but two girls He goes into the room where Abby is sleeping fishes through his bedside table for some condoms and heads back out into the living room to have a threesome She sits there listening to him giggling and moaning etc because she can't leave the bedroom without walking through the living room where his little threesome is going on When he's finished he kicks the girls out and he gets back in bed with her reeking of whiskeyShe gets out of bed steps over condom wrappers and sleeps on the reclining chair In the morning America acts like a real friend for the first time and packs Abby's things to take her home Even Shepley is contrite Travis wanders in during this conversation having already been out to buy all of Abby's favorite foods for the month she will be staying with him I'm going to pause and say gifts after emotional or physical abuse are part of a pretty common cycle Abby stays because Abby is an idiot who insists a bet is a bet Travis apologizes and hedges around letting her out of the bet When Abby indicates it is the only thing keeping her there he holds her to itWhile she's living with Travis Abby starts a tentative relationship with a boy named Parker who seems pretty decent Travis responds as one might expect even though he has made no real romantic gesture towards Abby when she leaves a party with Parker He leaned in seeming flustered I'll kill him if he touches youI like him I said emphasizing each wordHe seemed stunned at my confession and then his features turned severe Fine If he ends up holding you down in the backseat of a car don't come crying to meConvenient how every guy except Travis is a rapist Of course Parker is not really a rapist Travis is just insinuating it to scare Abby into going home with him Because Travis is the safe choice Vomit Vomit VomitParker behaves like a gentleman kissing her cheek goodnight Travis is waiting so close to the door that he opens it before she can push which causes her to fall in He does this just about every time she goes on a date with Parker The only exception I believe was when he drunkenly went down to the car where they were kissing and pulled her out of it The wheels of Parker's shiny Porsche suealed out of the parking lot and Travis lit a cigarette You can go inside now MareShe tugged on my skirt C'mon AbbyWhy don't you stay Abs he seethedI nodded for America to go ahead and she reluctantly complied I crossed my arms ready for a fight preparing myself to lash out at him after the inevitable lecture Travis took several drags from his cigarette and when it was obvious that he wasn't going to explain my patience ran outWhy did you do that? I askedWhy? Because he was mauling you in front of my apartment he yelled His eyes were unfocused and I could see he was incapable of rational conversationI kept my voice calm I may be staying with you but what I do and who I do it with is my business good for you Abby He flicked his cigarette to the ground You're so much better than that Pidge Don't let him fuck you in a car like a cheap prom dateI wasn't going to have sex with him so much for it being her businessMore vomit inducing craziness in which Abby accuses him of spying on her He tells her he doesn't want to know about when she sleeps with Parker She says that would be a big step for her He says that's what all girls say Abby says I don't mean the sluts you deal with I mean me I haven't ugh NevermindYes she's a virgin so she really is different from all the sluts he slept with Ugh is right I think waiting for someone you're really comfortable with and really in love with is a good thing but I also never felt superior to girls who felt differently about it The girl on girl hate in this book is ridiculousAfter Travis humiliates Abby in front of her date intimidates and threatens her date until he leaves and laughs with delight and relief over her virginity he then attempts to drunkenly seduce her Abby goes along with it This is where I felt a migraine coming on The seduction stops because Travis doesn't want it to be like that between them Lovely that the drunk Neanderthal calls all the shotsI'm only at thirty percent of the book here and I only have 25% of the room left to review so I'm going to start doing some heavy condensingCreepy Things Travis Does1 He buys Abby a puppy for her birthday to keep at his apartment so that she will always have to come back2 He beats his friends to a bloody pulp in the school cafeteria for making sexual innuendos about Abby In reality he would've got tasered by security After several incidents he would've been kicked out of the university but don't worry about reality in this book3 He lets Parker and the rest of the school believe he's sleeping with Abby to chase him away4 He refuses to allow Abby out of the bet even though he is strangling her healthy relationship with Parker5 Immediately after Abby and Travis sleep together he calls himself her last first kiss then he destroys the apartment and rages at Shepley and America for helping her leave when his words creeps her out6 After only a few weeks he tattoos Pigeon on his wrist and a long Hebrew scripture uote about belonging to your beloved and your beloved belonging to you Never has the word 'belonging' seemed so threatening7 Screams at her for accepting a drink from another guy because it could have roofies in it and besides she's HIS GIRL HE will buy her drinks NO ONE ELSE8 Punches a guy who is touching her while her face is inches away from the guy's face9 Stalks her after a break up Lies to his family about them still being together Manipulates her into pretending to still be a couple so she'll cook dinner Thanksgiving dinner for his family Kisses and has sex with her even though he's promised he wouldn't cross those lines again I'm not absolving Abby of her stupidity here either10 Stalks her some Drags guys away from dancing with her Threatens their lives if they go near her Tosses her over his shoulder and drags her out of a party Demands a designated driver take them to his apartment drags her kicking and screaming out of the driver's car tosses her in his apartment Somehow they end up having sex Don't fucking ask me It grossed me out I can't stomach re reading itAwful Plot Devices1 Zac Effron sing along I read in another review that Travis had the charm to pull off a Zac Effron sing along I thought this was meant to be an exaggerated comparison it was not He sings Rolling Stone's I Can't Get No Satisfaction in the school cafeteria with the football players as back up singers This is really not a joke2 A trip to Vegas where Travis fights to win money so Abby can pay the debt her big time gambling father has transfered to her Oh did I not mention she is the daughter of a famous poker player?3 Travis getting offered 100000 per fight to continue fighting in Vegas He decides to take the offer despite Abby's protests and then is shocked and a rage maniac when she breaks up with him because of it despite knowing she wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle4 A basement fire at fight club bought on by gas lanterns Because people really use those any Don't worry Everyone important lives Because this is reality5 Abby proposes they go to Vegas again to get married she gets a tattoo that reads Mrs Maddox and mentally refers to it as a brand several timesReal Ways this Book Could Have Ended in Order to be Realistic and Send a Message1 Travis kills Abby in a drunken fit of rage over something she's wearing saying andor doing Travis spends the rest of his life in jail2 Travis kills some guy for interacting with Abby in a way he deems inappropriate Travis spends the rest of his life in jail and either A Abby visits him twice a week for the rest of her life or B The guy's death serves as a wake up call for Abby and she spends the rest of her life far far away3 Travis kills Abby and some guy in a drunken rage because he preceived a threat Travis spends the rest of his life in jailI don't believe Travis is smart enough to get away with any of the murders because he usually doesn't see any reason to hide his awful behavior He does everything in front of many many witnesses every single time I purchased this book several months ago because I planned on reading a lot of self published books in 2012 as a reading project I purchased it before I read the author's blog post berating negative reviewers I would not have purchased the book had the post happened before the purchase I read this book on an 8 hour flight from London to Toronto This book and I spent 8 hours together in coach seating with nothing to do but surrender to the impossibility of escape There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide and this book caught me It caught me like Slenderman in a dark forest I will proceed to chronicle my transition from literature enthusiast to broken shell of a woman belowBeautiful Disaster A hallmark of passive aggressive literature that is secretly at home in the apocalyptic genreTake off My spirits are high The first page is fine Laughing at the ridiculous character names but reminding self that neither America or Shepley is as bad as Eureka BoudreauxHour one Surprised by route taken by book There appears not to be instalove which really shouldn't be surprising given the nature of the absolutely nauseating love interest Love triangle is dire like watching three stray dogs attempt to hump each other at the park And why is Travis even in this fraternity since he's constantly beating up his frat brothers? No one called the cops on his ass? Also aggressive misogyny abounds every woman except Abby who shows interest in Travis is a bimbo or a slut Of course Travis engaging in promiscuous behaviour is fine because he's troubled And a manHour two I'm waning Abby and Travis revolve around each other like the doors at MS meanwhile the entire college zeroes in on them as if they're the only thing keeping the moon in orbit A really popular creep is in love with me Abby says in front of her adoring audience But we're just friends Whatever I don't let it go to my headHour three Cabin fever sets in The book and I stare each other down with the seatbelt sign looming over our heads as a hellish omen sent to warn us of the impending five hours of the journey in which we will remain locked in a turbulence fuelled death grip at 40000 feet Determined not to succumb I throw the book under the seat and watch Oz The Great and Powerful Dreadful movie I'm losing the will to live Book finds its way back into my hands I open it and go hard at it determined to finish it in the next three hours I read another hundred or so pages filled with nothing but belly button fluff and then the proverbial towel is thrown in again Bonus points for Travis trashing the apartment like a fucking gorilla in heat after Abby leaves in the morning without saying goodbye Bonus bonus points for having Abby apologize for his deplorable behaviourHour four Abby and Travis break up because Travis wants to join the mob ??? I am losing touch with reality Hour five Hilarity ensues when one realises that Abby and Travis have broken up but Travis is stuck with Pigeon tattooed on his wrist Hour six The plane has entered Canada and the end of the longest flight in history appears to be in sight However the ordeal continues I have seen the face of evilHour seven Subplots appear and disappear like planes over the Bermuda Triangle My resolve is waning There are tears in my eyes Hour eight Travis and Abby are married in Vegas at nineteen years old which I suppose is meant to be a happy ending But there is only cheese cheese everywhere I am drowning in it but when the pilot announces that landing will commence in fifteen minutes I see a light at the end of the tunnel My limp defeated nearly gangrenous body begins to come alive It is almost overLanding A tsunami of relief washes over me I arrive home go to bed and do not awaken for eleven hoursIn conclusion this book is not beautiful This book is just a disaster FIN I'm not sure what to write about this book The reviews for the book were SOOO incredibly misleading I thought Travis was going to hit her or come close the way everyone was going on about the 'abuse' in the book I get it it was intense But having seen real abuse with my own eyes in real lifeI didnt understand what everyone else saw that made it be worse and stand apart from all other booksThis is a book about an alpha male Just because it's not a paranormal book and instead a contemporary it's not ok for him to act like that? I'm a pretty very conservative person and I've read paranormal books where the guys act worse than thatAbby was the one who got on my nerves the most throughout the book for jerking Travis around all the time It's a book and only a book and I enjoyed it I think I'll stop reading reviews before I read a book Everyone is entitled to their opinion but I don't want to deterred from a book again I want to make my own decision And in my opinion I LOVED TravisGreat book Jamie Life is not roses all the time and everybody can change WowTravis Travis Travis I liked him I hated him I liked him againI worried about his sanitythen I loved him And oddly enough I had a lot of the same feelings about Abby So many times I wanted to scream at her then him then her again Great complex characters I loved this Wonderful story wonderful world wonderful author view spoilerPsycho meets Mary SuePsycho abuses Mary SueMary Sue loves him anywayThey marryThe end hide spoiler Nope Can't do it It's just too horrible I've reached my max saturation point of stupidity Shake in your bootsboysand drop your pantiesladiesI give you Travis 'Mad Dog' MaddoxHe made his entranceshirtlessrelaxed and unaffectedThe lean muscles stretched under his tattooed skin Okay ladieshere we go123 andSWOONHe oozed sex and rebelliousness with his buzzedbrown hair and tattooed forearms Uh oh boyHere go my ovaries UmmmUESTION Can I get pregnant from this? Anyway Okaynow the storylineAbby Abernathy has a secretShe has a pastA dark pastAnd to escape it allshe makes a new beginning at Eastern Universitywith her best friend America I could finally walk somewhere without the whispers of those who knew or thought they knew anything about my pastI was as indistinguishable as any other wide eyedover achieveing freshman on their way to class; no staringno rumorsno pity or judgementOnly the illusion of what I wanted them to seeCashmeredno nonsense Abby Abernathy OkayI'll be truthful and tell you that I have no special love for herNowcoming back to the storyAmerica has a new boyfriend ShepleyHe takes them watch a ring fightAnd there Readerswe are first introduced to Travisroom mate and cousin of ShepleyHe can't be beatenHe can't be ignoredHe never backs down from a challengeHe is a walking one night standLadieshe is UNTAMABLENowI wish I could tell only good things but it won't be fair if I don't tell that he is alsoA jerktemperamentalimpulsivehas anger management issuesimmatureat times downright stupidand also has a little stalkerish tendenciesNowAbby's whole life goes topsy turvy when she becomes Travis's PigeonTheir attraction is instantBut Abby is not ready to become yet another conuestAnd Travis is not ready to back down from such a refreshing challenge So what's your storyPidge?Are you a man hater in generalor do you just hate me?I think it's just youI didn't say you're a bad personI just don't like being a foregone conclusion for the sole reason of having a vaginaHis eyes widened and he uivered with howling laughterOh My GodYou are killing meThat's itWe have to friendsI won't take no for an answer That marks the start of their friendship But are they destined to be just friends or something elsesomething ?Readersthey are insane togetherThey are out of control It's dangerous to need someone that muchYou're trying to save him and he's hoping you canYou two are a disasterI smiled at the ceilingIt doesn't matter what or why it isWhen it's goodKarait's beautiful So together they are BEAUTIFUL DISASTER Now you must be wondering 'Why 3 stars then?'Read on for thatbut only if you have read this book WARNING SPOILERS AHEADI'll say once again Please do NOT read this if you have not read this book alreadyOkaymy greatest complaint about this book wasSENSEthe plots one after the other made none after sometimeI was actually loving and enjoying this book when I watched in horror the events unfoldHow could Abby not know that Travis was in love with her??I don't blame her for trying to keep Travis only as a friendBut HOW could she sleep with him and then LEAVE him???And she accepted to go on a date with Parker that very dayAnd after that You're going out with him tonight? Travis seethedI told you he was going to ask me out after I got back to MorganHe called me yesterdayThings have changed a little bit since that conversationdon't you think?Why? Why?WHY??Because you slept with him even though you knew you were leaving and he's crazy about you I stood my groundstaring straight into his eyesSince when is sex so life or death to you? And Travis Travis is a fucking wreck He won’t talk to us he’s trashed theapartment threw the stereo across the roomShep can’t talk any sense into him He took a swing at Shep when he found out we helped you leave Abby It’s scaring me Abby he’s gone fucking nuts I heard him call your name and then he stomped all over the apartment looking for you He barged into Shep’s room demanding to know where you were Then he tried to call you Over and over and over she sighedHis face was Jesus Abby I’ve never seen him like that He ripped his sheets off the bed and threw them away threw his pillows away shattered his mirror with his fist kicked his door broke it from the hinges It was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life Seriously TravisI LOVE YOUbaby but you NEED TO GROW UPBe the Travis who never backs down from a challenge and sayGROW UP? CHALLENGE ACCEPTEDNowthis was just the beginningAfter sometime I felt as if I was watching a ping pong matchAbby fucks upThen Travis fucks upThen Abby fucks up againThen Travis never backs down from challengeremember? fucks up againOh GodWhen they broke up and were saying good bye during Thanksgivingit was too muchShe had already dumped himAnd then she realized her mistakeand wanted to get back with himBut when he was letting her go and saying I can't imagine being with anyone elsebut I'll be happy as long as we're friendsYou want to be friends? I askedthe words burning in my mouthI want you to be happyWhatever it takesMy insides wrenched at his wordsand I was surprised at the overpowering pain I feltHe was giving me an outand it was exactly when I didn't want itI could have told him that I had changed my mind and he would take back everything he'd just saidbut I knew that it wasn't fair to either of us to hold on just when he had let go GrrrrrrrrrrrrrThe only thing I can think of is either she is a MASOCHIST or she loves playing damsel in distressTheir last make up was weird tooI'm still trying to figure out how that happenedAnywayI know that you are still thinking about'Why 3 stars?' Though in a different senseWellfranklyI gave it 3 stars because I am biasedAnd because no matter how much they fucked upthere were several moments when I absolutely adored themTravisyou are a disaster and immediately need a shrinkIn the end I want to say that I can empathize with people who gave it 5 starsas well as with people who gave it 1 starThat's all for nowReadersTa Ta I haven't been this pissed off reading a book since Bad Romeo Beautiful Disaster was a cluster eff of a read managing to throw everything I hate in a book into one novelMy first issue with this book are the characters Our leading lady is Abby Abernathy Then there's our leading man Travis Maddox I can capture my feels for both of them at the same time I HATE THEM I CAN'T STAND THEM Actually that really undersells how I feel towards them but whatever Abby is DUMB there is no other word I can use to describe her I have never wanted to tear a characters hair out than hers She is such a plain character that turns out to be boring than watching paint dry It's clear that the writer wanted to make it out to be that Abby would be this special snowflake but it was the fail of fails Her sub story is that she comes from this terrible up bringing Even though the premise behind her tale was set up to be a success it too failed This brings me to Travis Oh God I don't even know where to start with this this Patrick Bateman in training This boy was two shakes of lambs tail away from cutting Abby up and making her into a skin suit I would gladly let Mr Grey see me now then let him touch me with a ten foot pole He is creepy abusive controlling scary unattractive cocky and bizarre This dude is beyond unstable I also imagine him to be a  mouth breather so that just adds to the growing list of reasons why I hate him McGuire writes it so that Travis is this womanizing college frat man whore Girls vagina literately bust out of their pants every time they see him This causing me to roll my eyes so hard that they almost dislodged from my head This leads me to problem two and three with this book Maybe it's just me doubtful but maybe but if I was about to hook up with a dude and I opened his bedside table and there was an endless amount of condoms and KY Jelly I would fly out of that room so fast that boy would think he was Dorthy And if that didn't make up my mind then the fact that he brings home not one but TWO girls and sleeps with them in the living room while I'M IN HIS BED would of had me never ever speaking to him again NO GIRL IN HER RIGHT MIND WOULD HAVE SWEPT THAT UNDER THE RUG The scene made me want to vomit then drink the cleaning  products under my sink Travis has major bipolar drinking jealousy and personality issues Travis also manages to keep Jesus abs the whole time without ever working out This is even mentioned SEVERAL times in the book HA NO 5 stars with a caveat and by far my most difficult review to write to dateI’m honestly baffled by my response to this book because I not only enjoyed the story but I also gave it high marks In many ways this book is everything I hate in a Young Adult romance but I still found myself enthralled giddy and starry eyed regardless of how annoyed I became at time In fact I felt like I was at odds with myself during most of it There was my latent teenage self all starry eyed and idealistic who loved everything about this book warring with my mature and realistic 40 year old self who knows better It became uite exasperatingI found I liked all the characters in this book Not once did I become annoyed with them shocking for a Young Adult story The characters were multi dimensional and authentic I was easily transported into their world of college drama although frankly it felt like High SchoolRight from the start I fell head over heels in love with Travis He's such a lovable jerk He epitomizes the charismatic lackadaisical tattooed sexier than all get out bad boy over whom most young girls swoon He's volatile tough flirty compulsive charming aggressive shameless intelligent domineering proud and nonchalant He also has a tenderhearted kind and vulnerable side that makes it impossible not to love him He really is the ultimate fantasyOur book begins with Abby our level headed and strong willed heroine attending an underground college fight club where Travis Mad Dog Maddox is the undefeated champion Unimpressed with his slick and smooth talking manner she brushes him off wanting nothing to do with him Only too familiar with his type she knows he means trouble Travis intrigued because Abby is immune to his charms all but stalks her wanting to win her over Eventually he succeeds What begins as a genuine friendship slowly blooms into an all consuming passionate and frankly obsessive and codependent relationshipI really liked Abby's character I was braced to dislike her as the story progressed fearing she would become little than a doormat because of the codependent and obsessive relationship she had with Travis However I was pleasantly surprised at how level headed she remained throughout the book She confronted all of his “red flag” behaviors in a mature and rational manner even leaving him for a time The thing that makes this story both intriguing and appalling is Travis' obsession with Abby He is consumed by her She becomes his everything Exhilarating in theory; unhealthy in reality His obsession at times becomes disturbing and worrisome In the end Travis makes some behavioral changes albeit surface than substance hoping to win Abby back He succeeds and Abby returns to the relationship In doing so some readers may believe in the misconception that one person can change another While a part of me knows better I still loved so much about this book I am a girl after all Would I want my 17 year old daughter to read this? No Very few teens have either the experience or maturity to distinguish between fantasy and reality But will I read this book again? Yes Oh dear this makes me a hypocrite